"I Like 2 Train 'Em, Bring 'Em Up Right..."

A little dab of personal fare..

I have been legally 'single' for the past 2 years, but on my own for much longer, which I prefer. I did my time with 15 years of marriage. But back in the day, I was never want for a date. Blondes just like to have fun. And love doesn't ask to see your ID. I have a penchant for younger men, I'll admit. I like to train 'em, bring them up right.

Then again, my ex-husband was 4 years younger than me, and that didn't work out so well (for him). He was(is) a bad puppy that turned into a real dawg. I should have returned him to the Dawg Pound when he first crapped on the floor. There are some stupid dawgs you just can't teach. You can't fix dumb, to quote some Blue Collar humor.

For nearly the past 15 years, my life has been consumed with raising and loving my children, my three boys. I haven't paid much attention to the dating scene. Recently, I was attending one of the soccer seasons last games with my youngest son playing 'futbol', and my other two sons in tow with me.

My oldest son, Ryan, was playing with his soccer ball on the back side of the goal net in the end zone where I was sitting. I had to keep my eye on him so he wouldn't interfere with the game, and my other eye on Riley, my middle son, so he wouldn't run out on the field like he does sometimes. Finally, half way through the match, Ryan settled down to chasing the balls that flew out of bounds, making himself useful.

While Ryan was off chasing the soccer ball, two toddlers approached me, a small boy and an adorable little girl. They both started talking at once, asking why they hadn't seen me before. I played along with them, and told them I hadn't seen them before. Ryan was running back and forth, chasing balls, while the toddlers kept pelting me with questions. It was amusing.

All of the sudden, I see a mom making a bee line for me and the two toddlers. She came up and demanded to know what her kids were talking to me about. I stammered that we had been exchanging playful dialogue when she ordered the kids back to their seats. This mom stayed though, until her kids where out of earshot across the field. Then she introduced herself, and explained to me that her "ex" was interested in meeting me, as she motioned across the field where most of the parents were seated.

I believe that I was struck dumb- or had a serious blonde moment, as I tried to focus on the line of parents sitting on the side line. Then she asked me: "Are you single?" just as Ryan ran past us, chasing a ball that was out of bounds. My mouth dropped audibly to the ground, and I didn't answer her right away, and Ryan heard her ask me again if I was single. My answer was "I guess I am single!"

Now Ryan is at full alert as she made some small talk, gathering info to take back to her ex. As she began to leave, Ryan could contain himself no longer, and blurted out "Is she a lesbian, Mom?!" "Did she just ask you out?!" "Omg, my Mom just got hit on by a lesbian!"

"Ssshhh-Ryan!!" I whispered to Ryan, still trying to process what had just happened. I have never had a go-between to ask me on a date for some one else before, so this was a new experience for me. I told Ryan that she was hardly a lesbian; she had 3 children, and was pregnant with twins with her current husband. Ryan was not convinced because he plainly heard her ask me if I was single, and saw me giving her info. I explained that she was 'scouting' for her 'ex' (husband) so he could meet me. Somehow this information seemed to shock Ryan even more. Some body wants to date his Mom? Some guy? Who'd have thought that this was worse news?

Now I'm getting totally self-conscious. I didn't have any make up on, and my legs were hairy- thank goodness I had long pants on. Was I sitting on the grassy knoll okay? I couldn't exactly cross my legs without tumbling down the incline, so I sat in a modified Indian seat on the ground.

Then reality hit- hey I don't know this guy- why should I care what he thinks of me? Oh, that darn vanity pops its head up, though. Now I'm nervous as she approaches me with her personal info- would I make the cut? Again, I should be the one to be worrying if he was making the cut. I didn't know his name yet, and I wasn't exactly sure which person he was when she motioned to her 'ex'.

As we were exchanging pertinent date information, I found out his name was 'Tommy', and he is the totally bald guy that I have noticed lurking around me at the other soccer meets. I'll admit that I was looking at this guy, but only to make out his motives. So I asked his ex, Beth, if he was bald by choice or some other reason. She answered "choice, but his hairline is receding." Okay. He strongly resembles Vin Diesel.

Beth also informed me that 'Tommy' likes 'older women' because younger women are just too stupid. She was trying to figure out how old I was, and I'm not prone to giving out my age to strangers. So I asked her how old she was, and she answered that she was 27. Okay. I replied "I'm older." Then I switched the subject to our kids, and we conversed until the end of the match. She seemed nice enough.

Now the end of the spring soccer season is drawing near- and that is one reason I haven't been able to blog as much lately. Between my two sons that play soccer, we had 6 soccer matches in 5 days, starting May 15 thru May 19.

On Saturday, I had to run between two soccer fields with Ryan and Danny. Tyler is Tommy and Beth's son, on Danny's soccer team. Danny likes Tyler and his family lives not too far from our house, about 2 neighborhoods away. I got Danny's game time mixed up, and we arrived at the soccer complex about 1 1/2 hours early. We waited, and just as I was about to leave, Beth shows up with her hubby and kids for the soccer game. None of the fields were open, though, so she called Tommy to get the coaches phone number to find out what time and which field that Northwest Soccer was playing on. As she was talking to Tommy, she told him that I was there, and she told me that he was still at work, and wouldn't be able to make it on Saturday to the soccer game.

Other players and families from Northwest Soccer began straggling into the complex, and we tried to figure out which field we were to play on. It was a gorgeous day, and I wanted to drink in the rays of sun. Unfortunately, I had to go pick up Ryan from his game, and spent a lot of time driving in the car, instead of catching rays and watching soccer, which I love to do.

I took Tyler and his brother with my three sons to the playground area after their soccer game so they could play awhile in the sun. All the boys had fun playing on the equipment near the water, including the look-out tower with a telescope. On the way home, I started pumping Tyler for info on his father. It was like taking candy from a kid. I found out that his dad, Tommy, was 28 years old. His dad went to my Alma mater high school, which is Roosevelt High School. The only problem is that I am 49 to his 28 years, and he wasn't even a glint in his father's eye when I was in high school.

I think he is a Democrat, too, which is good. Tyler told me his dad is a Presbyterian. Yes, I like younger men, but is this robbing the cradle? If I was a guy, there wouldn't be any problem. But I haven't been faced with such a huge age discrepancy before in dating. Do I tell him how old I am? Wait for him to ask me? Lie about my age? I dunno.

Ryan is totally impressed that his ol' Mom can still attract young fellers ;0) I wonder what the stats on May-December relationships are with older women? I don't to put the cart before the horse, though...

My old stand-by line is "I always act immature to look young." But I know I'm going to feel like holding Tommy's hand when we walk across the street!

20/20 I promise an update on this developing saga.

Rash