When It Rains ........

Back to the future with my ever complicated life. On Wednesday, June 25, I have yet another court date with Mr. Ex (as in husband). This time the paper heading to the Court is for the compliance report, application to show cause for contempt, and for extra added spice, my 'volunteer' attorney put in a motion to withdraw from my case. Lovely.

I told my 'volunteer' attorney nearly twelve months ago that there were fatal flaws inherent in the poorly constructed divorce decree that my then pro bono attorney apparently did while she was sound asleep. Harvey the 'volunteer' thought he could make right the wrongs with his first filing of contempt last October,2007, which had 10 counts of decree violations against my Ex.

Alas, Mr. Ex got away with only 2 counts of contempt and a whole slew of chances that most criminals would not be offered when they commit serious violations. But, of course, Mr. Ex has a healthy penchant for blowing his chances to do good, and squandering the goodwill of the judges, ect. of anybody trying to help him to stay out of jail. He thinks he is invincible. Mr. Ex believes he is above the law, especially when it comes to divorce decrees. He also believes that he is not accountable for his actions, no matter who he hurts.

Well, there are only so many Judges in Polk County, Iowa. What goes around, comes around. My attorney, Harvey, thinks that Ex may have just pissed off enough Judges and court officers for the last time. I hope so. It is about time that a little (lot) Justice falls my way, for the sake of my children.

To recap several events that Mr. Ex caused to happen in the past 3 months or so to avoid confusion:

Ex had the water to the family home terminated on May 12, 2008. The water is still turned off. You cannot imagine how dirty 3 boys can get when there is no water available in the home. It makes cooking a challenge. We have gone through a ton of baby wipes and hand sanitizer, not to mention bottled water. However, I can now shower with 4 bottles of water! It is impossible to order your children to stop pooping and peeing- which tends to cause serious plumbing problems, if ya know wut I mean.

Mr. Ex was court-ordered to have the washer and dryer purchased, installed and operating by May 23, 2007. This followed the original court order from the original decree ordering Ex to have purchased, installed and working laundry machines back in June, 2006. He ignored both court orders.

In March, Mr. Ex had the gas/electric turned off for the family home, after he ran up a horrendous bill that he was court-ordered to pay also in the original Decree, back in 2006. The electric/gas bill has always been in his name. Somehow, Ex got the past-due balance (over $2,000) transferred into MY name so we could keep the gas and electric on since March. Come July 1st, we won't have any gas/electric because I cannot pay the huge bill that he left delinquent for 5 years. He only paid the smallest amount he could to keep himself out of jail each month. He always paid late, so that most of the payment goes to the late fee and not the bill.

On or about May 14, Mr. Ex claimed that I hit his new SUV Dodge Durango with my car. Only problem is that I happened to be taking Ryan to his Spring Dance, with lots and lots of witnesses. That didn't stop Ex from calling the police and making a false report. The police officer came out to get any info from me, and of course, I had no knowledge about what he was talking about. As I was producing my driver's license and proof of insurance, I explained how every single time that I have a court date with Mr. Ex for contempt, MY car is seriously disabled within days of the court date, and cannot be driven. I went on to tell this officer that I believe it could have been a coincidence if my car wouldn't start once or twice on a court date; but not EIGHT TIMES IN 2 YEARS!

Then the officer asked me if I had any domestics associated with Ex. I told him several times the police had to be called when Ex beat me. The officer had a light-bulb moment, and he recalled coming out to our house several years earlier to the domestic assault, and he was the RO(reporting officer). He remembered the situation astonishingly well, the severe injuries I received, and the kids. But most of all he remembered how Mr. Ex had fled from our home, after he climbed out a back window to avoid being arrested. Ex was later arrested when he came back for his car keys, and I called the police while he thought I was looking for his car keys. Ex did all of the above in front of our children. What a role model. But I digress.

Ex tried to have the court order me to have the washer/dryer installed in the solarium, which is the boys playroom. I had to have the space cleared by May 23. I had to get help to move a piano, a desk and a love seat, among other usual room furniture. My sister and her husband came from Omaha to help, thank goodness.

The carpet in the playroom needed to be replaced about 5 years ago. Carpet and washers don't mix well, so we just tore it all out, and cut it into little pieces and stacked it on the porch. During one of the many trips to the porch to get rid of things from the solarium, I noticed Mr. Ex driving by the house. He is not supposed to drive by my house unless he is picking up/dropping off his children from visitation. There is a no-contact order in effect against Mr. Ex until my youngest son turns 18 to protect me from his violence.

3 days later, I got a notice from the City of Des Moines to get rid of any non-working cars without licenses, old batteries and tires, removal of graffiti on the outside walls, and on and on. None of these items were present on or near my property. We had most of the stuff removed from the porch that day, within hours. The other items were too large for the truck to pick up, so we had to arrange for a large dumpster to pick up the largest items that we wanted to get rid of. The city included a picture of the items that had been on our porch for only a couple of hours the first day. Funny, it was the exact same things that were on the porch at the time I saw Ex drive by. Ummmm...

Next, the plumber that installed the plumbing for the washer/dryer hook-up couldn't get the final inspection done with a city inspector due to the fact that the water had been turned off since May 12. Plus, Mr. Ex had failed to purchase the washer/dryer by May 23rd. Then Ex bugged the plumber for about 3 weeks on what kind of dryer to purchase. The plumber and myself agreed that an electric dryer would be the most economical to install. So naturally, when Menard's delivered the pair, it was a gas dryer.

The Judge ordered Ex to get machines large enough to handle the laundry load of three boys to young men that currently have 17 loads of dirty clothes per week. Ex just bought the cheapest small machines he could find. Then the plumber had to do a gas hook-up for the dryer, after we had agreed on electric.

My 'volunteer' attorney had already agreed to follow up on the washer/dryer escapade when he made his motion to withdraw from my case. Harvey also told the last Judge that if it was necessary to go to court one more time to get Mr. Ex to comply, Mr. Ex would owe Harvey legal fees.

Harvey filed the (non)compliance report along with his latest counts of contempt for Mr. Ex in the first week of June, asking for legal fees to be paid by Ex. Ha! Now Ex is in deep trouble with Harvey-and Harvey wants his money. About 20 (twenty) counts of non-compliance and contempt charges against Mr. Ex.

We made good use of the dumpster to get rid of things that I had wanted to get rid of for years. But the house took a heavy dirt toll due to no water at the house. My brother-in-law brought several waste cans of water from Omaha, as well as a good supply of drinking water and cleaning supplies.

In the midst of the construction for the washer/dryer room, and the heavy duty spring cleaning with no water, and of course the flood storms and three bored boys, we took a mild break one afternoon. The day was Friday, June 13th. My brother-in-law, Dave took Ryan to the store for some things, and Danny and I sat on the new park bench on the porch that I bought 5 years ago, and Dave had just put together.

A lady approached our house from the sidewalk, and turned onto our sidewalk in the front. When she reached us, she pulled a card from her pocket, introduced herself, and identified herself as DHS/Child Protective Investigator. I almost had a heart attack- my heart was racing and I was having palpitations. Friday The Thirteenth Bad Luck had struck.

She began her investigation by asking if I was having trouble with anybody lately. I replied "my ex-husband." We talked a little bit about that for awhile, and then I asked her what was the nature of the complaint against me. She read off a laundry list of horrible living conditions that allegedly were present at my house, starting with "the house has no water". None of the following accusations were true except that the water was turned off. The rest of her read statement was verbatim from what Mr. Ex had proclaimed since our divorce in 2006- which were all lies.

We talked at length on the porch, while Danny and Riley took turns sitting on the park bench with me, and going inside. I brought out all the current divorce papers, court dates, and contempt filings, which I wheel around in a large backpack. I gave her all the information that she requested and then some.

Eventually, Dave and my son Ryan returned from the store to find us still sitting on the porch with this strange lady, and all my legal papers out. So I introduced her to Ryan and Dave, giving them her job title of Child Protective. They looked surprised.

She immediately began to question Ryan about the same things she had already asked me about. Ryan answered honestly and the answers were the same as mine. But just to make sure, she said she had to do a home inspection anyway because of the nature of the complaint, and because we have a special needs child with Riley. I tried to warn her that we were in the middle of tearing these down and apart because we only had the dumpster a little more than a week. And that it is difficult to clean effectively without water.

The Child Protective Investigator did her "walk-through" our house, and I was mortified to have any visitors see our 'dirty laundry' as it were- let alone for a CPI to see our house guts torn out. She seemed sympathetic to our plight, and trustworthy because all of the information I gave her was backed up by legal documents. None of what the complainant had claimed was true, even in the midst of this cleaning chaos. Ha!

Now the DHS is investigating Mr. Ex., and will find him guilty of gross neglect for the water being turned off, and his terrible lack of care for his 3 children.

I can only hope that Justice will take place this week in court. Pray with me for some relief of Mr. Ex's abuse, and the court will see to it that my children will be taken care of by their father's monetary support, which has been sorely lacking for the past 4 years- at least.

I hope the devil has a special place in Hell for fathers that act so horribly to their children and make their family life so miserable and unbearable.

It Pours


Sheila & The Boys