A Kind Doctor Is A Treasure Indeed

  I had a procedure done to my back on December 23 for my Christmas present. I was in so much pain prior to the procedure that I couldn't function. One of my pain doctors is a very kind and compassionate man. I met Dr. Wadley several years ago when he assessed my back problems ( I have many). While we were discussing my back x-rays, Dr. Wadley looked very pale and sickly. He seemed to be struggling to maintain his composure;  his pallor changed from sheet white to the green of his scrubs. My heart went out to him as I asked him if he was okay. He replied that he had just been recently diagnosed with cancer and had started chemo. I felt badly to trouble him with my back problems. However, he treated my back within several days and provided me with very much needed pain relief. I was very grateful.

Unfortunately, he had to take a year off from his practice to recover from his cancer and cancer treatments. I needed to have another back injection within that year but decided to wait the three months for his return, rather than go to a different pain doctor and start the process all over again with yet another huge pile of paper work. I have Fibromyalgia and pain management is a huge part of that horrible disease.

Dr. Wadley immediately recognized me after only seeing and treating me the once on his return to practice. He seemed a little discouraged because apparently a lot of his former patients either couldn't wait for his return, or didn't return back to him after his cancer treatments finished. Once again I received massive pain relief from his back injection and pain treatments. It was worth the wait for a year. Of course this second back injection was followed by knee injections 2 weeks later (with a different pain doctor), and the combination of the two treatments greatly relieved my pain for a longer while than having the treatments separated by months.

He has reduced his schedule and moved his practice to a suburb rather than working the long hours at the hospital to accommodate the recuperation of his cancer episode. We talked again about my recent immobility due to so much pain. I told him how 'crunchy' all my bones and joints were. And I pointed out a 'new' area of pain that my other pain doctor had suggested was bursitis, but I felt it was worse than mere bursitis. He examined me and found the spot that was indeed bursitis on my hip and then he touched the other area on my back where there was a lot of pain. I let out a whoop that was quite loud and it startled him. "That much pain, eh?" "Yes, definitely," I said. So he located what vertebrae were involved and made notes to treat them with the injections.

What happened next is what really set this appointment apart from many, many doctors appointments that I have had for the past 10 years or more. We just talked like human beings. Person to person. Of course the conversation was centered around my pain and treatment, but I told him how important it is to me to be able to do things with my children and how much pain limits that interaction with my boys. He actually asked several normal questions about my children and myself- like a normal conversation. In a doctor's office!!!

It immediately put me at ease and relieved a little stress. The stress I always feel when I am hustled into the cubicle with a door on it and told to disrobe in a cold manner. The pressure I feel when trying to tell doctor after doctor how much pain I'm having and have to remember all the spots that hurt and if there are any 'new' spots of pain or if they have significantly worsened- all in the allotted time of 6-8 minutes- if that much time! The maddening frustration of remembering something I was going to tell the doctor after the door closes- knowing I'd have to remember that for a month or so for the next appointment. Not to mention how trying it is to sit in the doctor's office for an hour or so while people file in and out of the office like cattle, 10 or 12 per hour...

So then I asked Dr. Wadley "How are you doing?" as I looked directly into his eyes. I think I saw a little relief from his eyes and he shared with me how he has been doing with his cancer treatments and subsequent recovery. He went into a detailed discussion about how his DNA had changed by just one isotope and he may have lost me about halfway through his explanation, but I tried to manage a look of understanding his medicinese. I don't think he really cared if I understood him- I think he just needed a human ear to hear him out for once. The table had been turned on doctor and patient for one brief, good minute.

We both came away from that appointment with a deeper and more personal respect of each other.

The next day, December 23, Dr. Wadley "squeezed me in" for a back treatment at the hospital. Since I had to be sedated for the procedure, I had to bring my son for a driver.

After the OR, my son was allowed to come into the recovery room to wait with me until they dismissed me. When Dr. Wadley came in to tell me how the procedure went, he got to meet my son. It was a pleasant meeting and they talked for a few minutes. We all wished each other (nurses and staff included) a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I think we were close to being the last patients seen that day as it was after 3p.

I chose to write about this rather mundane episode of everyday life just for the reason that it is such an exceptional experience to have such a positive experience with doctors these days. I know because I have to go to so many damned doctors all the time. I get the feeling that they hate the experience as much as I do.

 But if you are going to be a doctor and be in the healing business, maybe you should work on your people skills and for sure your "bedside manner". For the most part, it has been my experience that a doctor's bedside manner is a thing of the past. That is a sad thing passing. I usually stare at the physician's top of the head as he looks over my chart in the exam room. I might as well be on a computer screen instead of being there in person.

"In person". Maybe that is what doctors need to practice. Be there in person.