Bullies and Intimidation Affect Society

I have been writing about the affects of bullying for ten years now, ever since my oldest son started kindergarten. I have three sons and all three of them have experienced bullying in some form.

Bullies are prevalent and intense in the school systems all over the United States, whether it is a parochial or public school. The prevailing atmosphere in schools today allows bullies and the precursors of violence to steep- if not actually encourage bullying and intimidation.

There are many factors at play here- a perfect storm, if you will. Not one person or institution is at fault- but we must all take responsibility for our part in allowing the cancer of violence and bullies to thrive in our schools and society.

First, parents must recognize the signs and symptoms of bullying. Questions must be asked on any suspicious behavior or injuries. Follow up must be done to alleviate the problem. Perhaps most importantly, parents must realize that their own child might be the bully. Look for signs. Look honestly. Fights and aggressive behavior should not be applauded or encouraged. Children learn what they live. Set good examples.

Secondly, corporal punishment must be reinstated- at least in some modified form. Otherwise, teachers become sitting ducks for violence and lawsuits if any type of self defense is involved. Teachers must have some type of enforcement to reestablish their authority in the classroom, to make it safe for all students. The way it is now is like having police out on the streets without uniforms or guns- it simply wouldn't work.

Teachers now occupy all their time either dealing (ineffectively) with 'problem' students or giving tests (NCLB) on material that they have not been allowed to teach to the 'good' students. Something has to give. What is occurring in our schools today is not education.

Simple things like "compulsory education" in states allow the actual marketing and recruitment of gangs and worse in our schools today. Because when a student is 'expelled' or suspended from school, that student must still be in school because of the compulsory education law.

So that student is then continuously rotated through all the district's schools until that student is either too old or drops out of school. On the expelled student's journey through all the district schools, the student continues bullying and other bad behaviors until he gets suspended (automatic 3 days off) or ultimately expelled from each and every school in the district.It's almost like a video game to these students- racking up scores and pooints.

Meanwhile, though, that expelled student spreads intimidation and violence throughout the district. All the while the student uses extraordinary networking skills to establish and grow gangs, also getting more turf to sell drugs to more and more students. He is learning valuable life skills- to be in a gang and sell drugs- not an education.

I have personally seen this happen to 2 students in my son's class. One is dead from a self-inflicted gunshot to the head at 14 (drugs and gangs involved), and the other student dropped out of school at 15 years old with two children from two different students.

Recently, I received a call from the nurse at my youngest sons middle school. Apparently Danny 'hurt his arm' in the hall when he fell. Danny claims he 'tripped' but admits there was nothing but the flat, hard floor for him to have 'tripped' on.

The nurse intimated to me on the phone that something seemed suspcious to her about Danny's story. We talked strategies about how to get the story out of him, and she gave me the phone number of the student dean that would handle a 'problem'.

Long story short, Danny broke his arm when he fell, and did not return to school for a week.

His story changed almost as many times as I interragated him. I'll probably never know what really happened in the hall when Danny's 'friends' were walking behind him as he fell.

His middle school, AH, is known for its gang activity, violence and drugs. I didn't want to send him there. But believe it or not, I believed AH to be the better choice than H- which is famous for its lock-down classrooms because of the number of guns and knives brought into school.

It's not a simple problem but it's a big problem. Everybody has got to change. Everybody must put a stake in shaping our society and take responsibility to change the path of destruction that our youth are on.

Otherwise, we will hate to live in our own society of violence and bullies.
Bullies aren't just in schools. Look around. Look in the mirror. Look at your work.

If we 'put up with it', the social mores will change for the worse, as will society. We can't live with that.

Mom