An Overview

It may seem that I have been neglecting my blogger duties, but trust me, their are reasons for my absence. Suffice it to say to say that I will be highlighting major events that occurred since February of 2012. Some may be revisited in detail as need be.

Many changes happened to my three sons as their teenage hormones kicked into high gear. I distinctly remember my dear mother laughing uncontrollably as she sputtered "They will all be teenagers at the same time". I did not fully grasp her humor at the time the boys were toddlers, but am beginning to find out what she meant now when adolescence continues to plague our family life.

Let me start off with Danny, my youngest. He's in middle school and was having a hard time of it. When I had to go to court with him for "too many absences" and was fighting to keep him from becoming a dropout before eighth grade, I had my work cut out for me. Being a single mom has its drawbacks. But we worked through it together and he made it to eighth grade with flying colors. Now he is Honor Roll worthy and hasn't missed a day in the eighth grade. I don't like the middle school where he goes to school because it doesn't have the best reputation; I swore for years that I would never let him attend that school. But mainly because of the three long years of fighting foreclosure that Bradex put us through, I had no other choice. Daniel remains the minority group at his school and the problems with bad behavior there are never ending. It's not the educational/social mix I was looking for, that's for sure. But Danny and I have to make lemonade out of lemons for awhile.  Daniel is one great kid.

I also had to monitor Daniel's activities on facebook because of the crudity of some of his 'friends' on fb. Danny is very impressionable and wants to be accepted, just like every single teenager entering their formative adult lives. Too bad the pickings for friendship at his middle school are so slim. But Danny has kept a friendship with the neighbor boy since his Kindergarten class. He is also beginning to notice the other sex as something more than just being there.

Riley. Riley. Riley. The life I wished for Riley when he was born seems like a distant planet to me now, barely visible to the naked eye. I have been forced to compromise at every turn for Riley, through vicious bureaucracy. His education at 16 years old is non-existent. His social life is also nonexistent, outside of his special school. His family life is not what I want for him. It is so hard. Riley is so loving. I know it must be very frustrating for him to not be able to communicate.

I am so tired of having to constantly fight for every single thing for Riley. So tired. I don't know where to begin because I know there will never be an end to his life-long problems. If I can't get him the help he needs now, how will I ever have the peace of mind to know that he will be taken care of when I'm gone??

In 2012 alone, there has been a parade of bureaucratic barrages designed to make Riley's life miserable. I know they (the powers that be) have succeeded to make MY life miserable trying to fix what they have undone. From the simple task of changing Riley's SSI bank deposit to the absurdity of the Social Security office charging that Riley owed $12, 000, I have had it! I physically went to the Social Security office every single month of 2012 for the entire year to get "it straightened out" and without fail, the Social Security office made everything worse. A truly remarkable feat if you ask me. Yet, the nightmare that is bureaucracy continues to hurt those it is designed to help. Sad.

Ryan truly transformed from a young teenager leaving high school into a young man entering college. Although now it seems like it was a seamless transformation, there were several bumps along the way. Nothing that we couldn't work out together.

Ryan graduated from Dowling Catholic High School, which is a AAAA rated high school, and is the best high school in Iowa. That's pretty darn good, considering he maintained the Honor Roll status for the most part since third grade. I'm so proud of Ryan. He also completed all his own graduation invites and all his own Thank-yous, which is really something for a teenage boy! He's a great kid, so it's not that surprising :)

After some minor help from me, he did some research for colleges to apply to and then decided on going to Grand View University in Des Moines. I also attended Grand View, but it was only a college back then...ouch, dating myself!

Ryan got quite the package from Grand View in scholarships and opportunities. He received a basketball scholarship along with several other scholarships, including a minor scholarship because I went there, also. The best part of choosing Grand View for Ryan is that he is close to campus life and yet doesn't have to pay to live in a dorm. He's five minutes away from class-which is convenient. He is studying to become an educator so far. Ryan likes his classes, and it keeps him close to his girlfriend of 3 years, Mittzi. She attends Drake University on a music scholarship. Mittzi is a talented and friendly young woman. They are good for each other.

Ryan keeps a very busy schedule, working at Dahl's grocery store. He's worked there several years as well, and Mittzi works there, too. That's where they met ;) Sometimes Ryan takes his job too seriously, though. He likes to try to stop thieves from stealing things from his store. A couple of women shoplifters tried to take off with some stolen property. One girl stopped in the store when she was caught. But the girl she was with took off running from Dahl's. Ryan took off after her, enjoying the chase. After a romp through backyards and side streets, Ryan finally caught up with the perp. He grabbed her purse after pleading with her to just give him the stolen goods and he would let her go. She resisted, and proceeded to bite Ryan's hands that were clutching her purse.

Finally, another employee came to Ryan's aid, and tackled her, while she maintained a grip on her purse. But Ryan yanked it when she fell to the ground. Ryan got her purse in the end, with the stolen property in the purse, along with the perp's ID. Stupid criminals. Meanwhile, Ryan's hands resembled hamburger, and Dahl's tended to his wounds as best they could. But he still had to have a doctor treat his human bites.

I pleaded with Ryan to make better decisions at work. I know he wants to be the good guy- but she  only stole about $5 bucks worth of crap. My thought that scared me to death was what if the perp had a gun? Ryan can't outrun a bullet...

My problems keep getting better and worse. I'm so tired of fighting for every nickel and dime when Bradex has the life of luxury. It seems that his mission to make his family suffer at every turn has become reality, marked by his entire family ignoring Ryan's high school graduation. But really, what should we expect? The nut doesn't fall far from the tree.